Winning the Loss

She wiped off the tears that ran down her cheeks. She looked at the closed door behind her and muffled a cry. She would not cry anymore. She wouldn’t give in. She wouldn’t let the pain consume her soul, like always. She cannot always be the one who is wrong. She knew it in her bones that she was right. She made mistakes, but she was not that bad. She might be wrong sometimes, but not always.

Adults can be wrong too. Adults can be impulsive too. But, she would not think about it anymore. She would let her feel victorious, while she would admit defeat for the last time in her life. She would not look back in life. Not anymore.

This time, she would have a fresh start. Asking herself to be strong, she moved on the path towards her future.


Time changed but everything else remained the same. She knew she had made a mistake. She knew she committed lots of them without even thinking. But she had always thought that she is the one who is right. She could never even think that a mother can be wrong. Daughters are supposed to be wrong, aren’t they?

But when her daughter banged the door on her face and moved out of her house, she felt anything but victorious. All the arguments, all the silly notions about what is right and what is wrong, suddenly felt meaningless. Her daughter’s parting words seemed to reverberate in her ears like a broken music record.

‘I don’t know what more I would be in my life. But one thing is for sure, I would be a better mother than you. I would understand my daughter and not make her feel unloved. I would love her.’

She had failed. She had gone wrong in trying to be a better mother. All the pent up anger and frustration throughout the years had finally taken a toll on their relationship. If there was even a relationship to begin with…

In trying to win an argument, she had lost her daughter forever.


The End.

Note: No personal feelings involved. 😛 I wrote this almost a year ago and as I was browsing through my previous works today, I found this and thought of putting it out here. This is a simple one-shot. No one has to be right or wrong. 

Leave your comments 🙂

Deepika Padukone’s “My Choice” : My Take (I stand by her)

If you are on any kind of social media platform, you already know what I am talking about. Social media is flooded with articles about the said video and the arguments that followed it. I, personally, am stunned by the violent reactions that the video has garnered. What was supposed to be a simple video featuring Deepika Padukone for women empowerment has turned into a deadly battle of wits.

The video was released jointly by Deepika and director Homi Adajania in association with Vogue India as part of their campaign on women’s empowerment. Based on a piece written by Kersi Khambatta, the video also showcases 99 women from all over India posing infront of the camera as Deepika’s voiceover narrates lines in a black and white theme. When I watched the video, I was awe-struck at the amazingly bold lines with beautiful deep meaning. It was impactful, to say the least. Deepika’s voice is strong, bold and stoic. She conveys the dialogues in the most impactful way. I think that this is a beautiful piece of work written.

I was shocked at how much negative response has this video garnered. The most troublesome thing was that the actress was at the receiving end of the scorching tongues. I felt bad for her. Truly. She is an actress. Why blame her for something she was paid to do and had not written it herself? (Before someone calls me unbiased as I am Deepika’s fan, yes I am her fan but I am not blind. I respect her as a woman.)

I saw the male spoofs version too and realised how dumb men are (which is hardly a secret). They took the video as per the words and showed how “hypocritical” and “double standards” the society is. If they do the same things that the video says, then they would be called bastards and stuff like that. Well, why don’t we focus on women empowerment in a MALE dominated society before we help and raise the positions of a POOR MALE in a PATRIARCHAL society? And yes, before making spoofs on some video, one must always understand the video or one has the risk of being proved as a fool. 😉

I was astonished when some women even commented how “unethical and catastrophic” this video was to the relationships and society for promoting sex outside marital bonds. Well, in my opinion the video never promoted sex outside of marriage. It simply talked about the option of having a choice!

The only thing that went wrong with the video was that the makers forgot that this is India where words are taken as they are. Having done English Honours, I know that words hold ambiguous meanings. There may be two, three and even four meanings to the same sentence. Instead of using poetical language, the writer should have simply told the facts. But ofcourse the writer isn’t at fault. Some things have been taken out of context and being mocked at. (Dear writer, when someone tells you how bad you have written and how double meaning your work is, say “I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand.” It’s sure to keep them shut up.)

Here is what I understood by the controversial lines conveyed in the video and what I think they mean:

  • “to wear the clothes that I like”: Do not tell me that I called for it when I get raped for wearing short skirts. I didn’t. It’s my body and I choose to dress it the way I want it. I wouldn’t shy from wearing dresses simply because I am fat. I wouldn’t shy away from wearing a bikini simply because you are oogling at my assets. Do not tell me what to wear. I wouldn’t cover myself up simply because you can’t look away.
  • “to be size 0 or size 15”: Whether I am a size 0 or have an hourglass figure or I am obese for that matter, it’s my choice. I choose to maintain my body, exactly the way I want. (Deepika got condemned for this since she sells fitness products to get into shape. So what? It’s her choice to have that particular size.)
  • “to love a man, woman or both” : I might be a lesbian, a normal girl or bisexual. But that’s who I am. You have no right to judge me. It’s my choice to embrace the love in a form that fulfils me.
  • “to come home when I want”: I may have a career that’s demanding. Don’t stand in my way of progress and give me space to grow. Let me progress and bloom. Give me my freedom.
  • “to have sex before marriage, to have sex out of marriage, or not have sex at all, my choice” : Do not call me a slut if I give in to my love for a person. Don’t expect me to be a virgin if I can’t expect the same. Don’t expect me to stay chaste to our marital bonds while you don’t stay true to them. Don’t expect me to have sex with you simply because it’s your right as a husband. It’s my body and I decide what I want to do with it. (Yes, I know, having sex outside of marriage and breaking the marital bonds was what got people riled up. But what would you expect from a woman who is still legally wedded to a person who has deserted her with no hope of return? To stay chaste to her bond or to try and give love another chance?)
  • “my choice to have your baby or not”: Yes, without your sperm I cannot have the baby. But this is my body. I decide whether or not I want to put myself through the turmoil and pain of having a baby. Having a baby or not should be my choice, after-all, it’s me who has to keep and feed the baby for nine months in my own body. It’s not your body that’s going to change due to this. It’s mine. And when it comes to my body, it should be my choice. I want to have a baby when I am ready for it and not when you decide. (The pain of childbirth is unimaginable. It should be her choice to want to go through it or not.)
  • “my choices are like the snowflakes, they make me unique.. I am the tree of the forest. I am the snowflake not the snowfall”: My choices in life shape me as an individual. I am not a herd. I am an individual. Stop comparing me to others. Stop stereotyping me. Stop judging me. I am different from others. I am me.
  • “I choose to empathise or be indifferent”: Do not expect me to understand your point of view, always. I might understand you sometimes but I have the right to be indifferent to you when you cease to make sense to me. Don’t expect me to be always understanding and caring. It’s my choice to give you another chance or not.

I hope I have put some things into perspective. This is my way of viewing the video… through my rose tinted glasses 🙂

Disclaimer: This is a personal blog. Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner. Copyright intended. Healthy feedback is always welcome 🙂

  • Mahak Goel


While You Were Sleeping : A Movie Review

While you were sleeping: A Movie Review

Rating: PG

Genre: Romance, Drama


While you were sleeping is a typical rom-com with all the right ingredients for a fairytale romance.

The Story In Detail: The movie starts with a typical girl-next-door, Lucy, who is alone with no family of her own and works on holidays to feel good. Working at CTA, she sees a handsome guy and falls in love with him on the very first sight. The guy, Peter, is mugged by two people and thrown on railway tracks where she jumps to save his life from the coming train. She admits him in the hospital where no staff lets her visit him, claiming that only family can visit. With a sigh, she says to herself “I was gonna marry him.” This is over-heard by a nurse who misinterprets this and tells his family, who has just approached, that Lucy is Peter’s fiancée. She wants to clear the air but fails when she learns how grandmother has heart problems. She keeps up the facade and tells the family that “It was his smile. He smiled and I knew that my life would never be the same”. She is invited over their place to meet Jack, Peter’s brother.

She tells the comatose Peter about everything while Saul, the godfather, overhears her. Saul asks her to keep the pretence for family sake. When Jack meets her, he is wary of Lucy and asks her all sorts of questions. But Lucy is saved as she has keys to Peter’s apartment, has keys to his car, knows about the cat and also knows an intimate detail about Peter. Jack, while mending his relationship with Lucy, spends time with her and starts to fall for her. Lucy loves Jack’s hand-created rocking chair and they chat. They end up disclosing the various dreams and share laughs. As the night ends, they fall in each other’s arms due to slippery ice and share a moment. They both start feeling something for each other but keep it to themselves.

Next day, Lucy and Jack end up under mistletoe and after being urged by the entire family, Jack kisses Lucy on her cheeks.

Lucy’s future sister-in-law turns up at the train station where Lucy works and chats with her. As a joke, Lucy tells her friends that yes, she is pregnant which is over-heard by her and she tells that to the entire family. Jack visits her where misunderstandings about her fake pregnancy gets cleared up. There they have their first argument where Jack accuses her of planning trips to places where she doesn’t even go while she throws back at him how he wants to leave family business but doesn’t tell anyone. He goes away.

It’s New Year and Peter wakes up. He remembers everything except Lucy. In a hilarious set of events, the family thinks that Peter has amnesia and that’s how he doesn’t remember Lucy. As Jack drives Lucy back to her house, he apologises to her and she says that they are good friends. Next morning, Jack ends up confessing to his father how he wants to start his own business and his father accepts that happily. Saul, the godfather, tells Lucy that he would handle things while he goes to Peter and tells him to give another chance to Lucy, look in her eyes and is he doesn’t fall in love with Lucy, he can break up with her. Peter talks to Lucy when she visits him and likes her. Meanwhile, Ashley visits Peter’s apartment claiming to be his fiancée. Ashley visits Peter in the hospital where he asks her to back-off since she had never actually said yes to his proposal. Peter proposes Lucy and she leaves without an answer.

Jack visits Lucy’s apartment where he gifts her globe of Florence. She is touched as Florence was her dream destination and her mother had given her father a globe- a symbol of world. Lucy asks Jack if he can give her a reason not to marry Peter but he says he can’t. The wedding day arrives where Lucy enters the Church and protests to her own wedding claiming that she is in love with Jack. She ends up confessing the entire truth infront of the family, how she fell in love with the family. She leaves.

At the station, on her counter, instead of a coin, a diamond ring is thrown inside. She looks up to find Jack along with his family. He enters her cabin and proposes to her. She accepts, the family cheers on and they kiss. A scene of their marriage is shown where they go to Florence for their honeymoon.

In the last dialogue, Lucy says that, Peter once asked her when she fell in love with Jack. And she told him, “It was while you were sleeping.”

Memorable Quotes from this movie:

  • Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don’t, you’re probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that you were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven’t even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma? – Lucy
  • Peter once asked me when I fell in love with Jack. And I told him, “It was while you were sleeping.” – Lucy
  • Peter: I’m making a clean start with Lucy. She is — She is — She… What is she? She’s… Jack: I’d say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her. She drives you so nuts you don’t know whether to hug her or, or just really arm wrestle her. She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport. I don’t know if that amounts to insanity, or just being really, really… likable.
  • Lucy: The truth was that I fell in love with you.

Ox Callahan: You fell in love with me?

Lucy: No, N-o, yes. All of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, and a friend.

My Rating:

The story flowed smoothly, there were some scenes which felt rather forced. There was absolutely no need for some characters like Jerry (the boss) or Joe Junior (the neighbour who keeps on hitting on her). Though highly clichéd, I give this movie a 3 star rating. It was a funny, time pass movie in which the sole USP was Sandra Bullock.

The Difference Between Then & Now…

Many a times it happens with me that a leaf of page falls from one of the textbook that I happen to pick up. When I pick it up, I find a poem or some abstract thought scribbled on it. I literally have to go through that entire thing to know what I actually wrote in that.

Some pieces of work make me smile.
Some make me nostalgic about a time that seemed so far away.
Some make me feel stronger since I did overcome that phase of life.
Some make me feel sad that it happened.
Some envelope me with a truck-load of memories.
Some make me realize how different my life is now.
Some make me happy that it ever happened.
Some make me feel the depth of emotions.
Some make me feel despair.
And some make me realize how bored I must have been to write such utter nonsense.

It’s strange how life never seems to constantly change. I know it’s just another random musings of mine but I can’t help it. I am too emotional to forget things. Sometimes, writing down feels better. It creates a memory that can invoke different feelings at different point of time.

What you must have felt while writing can be different to what you feel now … That’s the difference between then and now. 🙂

– Mahak